Hmmm, obviously I've touched on a humorous topic. Okay, a tie tac it is. Anyone want any old external modems? I've got three USR Couriers; different models: One's the HST Dual Standard, another is the V.34 Dual Standard and the last is the V.Evertying. The V.34 has had a software upgrade, so it operates identically to the V.Everything. Let me know. Cheers, Chuck